


Mistake - Rafael Barba, Ft Nick Amaro

by Sherrykinss



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24427117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherrykinss/pseuds/Sherrykinss
Summary: Dating Rafael and he does not approve of you going undercover. He ends up arguing with you in front of Nick and reminds you of the mistakes you’ve made in the past.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Reader, Rafael Barba/You
Kudos: 20





	Mistake - Rafael Barba, Ft Nick Amaro

“What are you guys doing here?” Rafael asked, after taking a quick glance. He continued scribbling notes and filing the paperwork in front of him.

The two detectives proceeded further in Rafael’s office.

“We just wanted to keep you in the loop with our plan.” Nick started off.

“Nick and I are going undercover. The gang is too smart and the only way we can get evidence is during a transaction.” She explained.

“So in the meantime, we need a warrant to search the house.” Nick finished off.

Once Rafael processed their plan, he dropped his pen and looked up at them. If the gang was as dangerous as they had previously stated, he was not going to have his girlfriend go undercover, even if she is a detective.

“No. That’s not good enough.” He sat back in his chair and shook his head.

Deep down, he knew the plan was plausible, but he didn’t approve of his girlfriend’s involvement. He knew the Brooklyn detectives had been pursuing this gang’s involvement in human trafficking, and they’ve let them slipped through their fingers every single time. It wasn’t that he believed the detectives were incompetent, he didn’t like the risk that came with being undercover.

Baffled by the counselor’s objection Nick stepped in, “What do you mean?” He asked.

“It’s not good enough, find another way.” Rafael sternly said.

This time, his girlfriend shot him a curious gaze. Rafael ignore the raising of his girlfriend’s eyebrow. The two detectives glanced at each other, wondering why the plan was rejected when they had gone over it multiple times. It was a sealed plan.

“What do you mean? We’ve gone over it a thousand times with Liv, she approves of it.” She insisted.

Rafael didn’t want to reveal his true reason for the objection, but it didn’t seem like the detectives would back down.

“You’re not going undercover.” Rafael stared hard at her, and sternly said.

Nick recognized the look in Rafael’s eyes. He understood the objection wasn’t because of the plan, but for personal reason. Uncomfortable by the ensuing argument, Nick silently took a step aside. Glancing between the two, he leaned uncomfortably against the side of Rafael’s desk.

“The plan is totally foolproof.” She replied, then took a step back. Her eyes narrowed to a scrutinizing scowl. “I’m sorry, Barba. Are you doubting my capabilities?” She asked; her voice laced with offense.

“Undercover is a risk, there’s no such thing as foolproof.” Rafael argued.

“It’s not my first day on the job. And for your information, I don’t need your permission or your signature to proceed with the plan.” She retorted.

“I just don’t want you to make the same mistake from before.” He hissed.

Every fiber of her body froze at the reminder of the blood on her hands. Her mind flashed back to the trauma that still haunted her. It hurt that Rafael would bring up a painful memory. She felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. She confided in him because she trusted him, trusted that he would never hurt her with this painful regret. In any minute, she felt like she would end up gasping for air. All the guilt submerged, crawling up her body as she choked down the creeping sob.

She couldn’t stop her mind from replaying that painful day. She could smell the hint of iron from the puddle of blood forming on the floor. Her head felt light as she pressed harder on the gun wound. Unable to stop the bleeding, her eyes shifted onto her partner’s eyes. His eyes were starting to shut. No matter how tightly she held him, it felt like he was getting colder. She felt his life slip through her arms and the stillness afterwards continues to haunt her.

Nick saw her flinched at Rafael’s words and he had to admit, the counselor’s words were harsh. The tension in the room could cut through glass. Nick didn’t realize he was gripping the edge of the table so hard that his knuckles turned pale. The minute Rafael left the room, Nick’s eyes returned to her. He was alarmed by the situation, but was unsure of what was the best way to console her.

“Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t know what he’s talkin’ ‘bout.” Nick said.

When Nick saw how his attempt wasn’t successful, he slowly moved closer. He saw how her eyes stared hard at her hands, like nothing else in the room was actually there. Her face paled and he instantly recognized the dazed look in her eyes. She was slipping back into a horrid memory and reliving it again.

“He didn’t mean it. Don’t go there.” Nick rushed to say.

His arms drew her in and pulled her into a tight hug. Nick could relate, he had made so many mistakes undercover. He had many regrets even without being undercover. He could understand how she was feeling. He could only hug her and gently pat her back as she cried silently into his chest.

Rafael’s shoes tapped against the floor as he stomped down the hall. He couldn’t be in the same room as her, not when she stubbornly dove into heroics as if her life wasn’t something to cherish. The further he walked, the more he felt guilty. He felt guilty for arguing with her in front of Nick. He shouldn’t have gave into the impulse, but when it came to her job, she could be so frustrating. He only wanted her to be safe. He felt more calm from the walk, so he turned back. He hoped to catch her and apologize.

He hurried back, rehearsing a variety of apologies in his head. Once he was closer, he peeked through the space between the shades and saw two figures sitting in front of his window. Relieved to find that they hadn’t left, he reached for the doorknob. He flung open the door and found her crying beside Nick holding her hands. His stomach churned at the sight, he felt disgusted with himself. He knew that the topic was touchy for her, but in the moment, he didn’t realize how much pain he was inflicting on her by opening old wounds.

Nick looked up and gave her hands a quick tight squeeze.

“I’ll leave you two to talk. I’ll be outside.” Nick softly said and excused himself.

Rafael nervously ran his fingers through his styled hair, before he sank down onto the couch. She wiped her eyes harshly with the back of her hands. Her curled up body shifted away from him.

“Babe, I’m…” He started.

She sniffled and distanced herself from him, when she saw him reach out to hold her hand. She didn’t want him to see her with her face all flushed and drenched with tears. Her lips pursed with discontent. She didn’t want this to validate his opinion even more, since he questioned her abilities before.

“I’m really sorry.” He whispered softly.

She shook her head and got up from the couch. She wasn’t sure she could listen to him at the moment. All she needed to do was to dry her tears and gather herself before she stepped out of the office. The last thing she needed was for people to stare.

“I gotta get back to work. We can talk about this later.” She said, without sparing him a glance.

He reached out and grabbed her hand before she could leave. He felt awful, and he couldn’t let her leave without making things right between them. He wouldn’t be able to focus on anything but her red teary eyes. He held her hand tight and pleaded, “Give me 5 minutes, please? I want to explain.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek, bitter but unsure. As hurt as she felt, she loved Rafael and he always had a reason for everything he did, even if he didn’t like to share it. Maybe she was making an excuse for him, but she nodded and sat back down on the couch.

“I’m so sorry for bringing that up. It was wrong of me to do that. Especially in front of Amaro.” He started off.

He slowly reached out for her hand, holding them in his lap. His thumb caressed small circles into her palm. The tension in her body slowly began to relax from his gentle caress. He slowly scooted closer and continued his apology.

“I fully believe in you. I just can’t help but be terrified.” He revealed, licking his lips in embarrassment. “You’re going undercover, which mean you can’t bring your gun. You’re going in completely vulnerable. Those thugs, I grew up seeing them. They’re vicious and unpredictable. I didn’t want you to get hurt. I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt.” He explained.

Her gaze slowly met his and offered a nod. She understood the dangers of going undercover. She was nervous, but she was confident that she could successfully execute the task and save a lot of people. She slipped her hands out of his grasp and crawled into his lap. Her arms wrapped around his torso and buried her face into his shirt. His arms embraced her lightly; his fingers brushing through her hair.

“If you do go undercover, promise me you’ll be safe.” He whispered, then planted a kiss on the top of her head.

“I promise I’ll be safe and smart.” She mumbled her promise into his chest.

He nodded and kissed her head again. Even though her promise didn’t soothe his worries, he felt a bit better for making amends. He knew he had to learn to trust that things will go well. He had to trust the other detectives to look after her. He had to hold onto hope.


End file.
